Wings is more than just wings. It’s beer and wings.

For seven years it’s been beer and wings. With the exception of a few years of Sprite and wings. Monday Night Wings (dot com) has been a stone on the waterfront. A rock on the mountain. A hard thing on another hard thing that’s relatively impossible to move without the assist of a catastrophic meteor shower or the occasional pissed off girlfriend.

It’s been a purveyor of the Tuesday morning hangover and the miserable toilet bowl destruction of those who dare eat 10, 20, 40, even 56 wings. It’s been home to competitions of dramatic alcohol consumption. Competitions always won by team Good and lost by the cheating team Bad. Whoever that team may be.

Arguments have been made that Mondays are better than Fridays and have been met with little resistance. Timely rituals of timely arrival, the prompt ordering of Miller Lite, and the gorging of salty popcorn, coveted celery, and sometimes soupy, but mostly always most of the time amazing chicken wings.

We’ve seen members come and go for holidays, only to head home to their miserably sober Monday night existences. We’ve had sprinting relay races around the entire bar. Judged by shoeless drunkards and irritated bartenders. Even a Monday Night Wings (dot com) language of words, gestures, and signs has been adopted. Bang Bang, Knife, Flag, Sally ordered it, Soupy!, and See ya later everybody, a phrase muttered by those taking the B line to Pissville.

Monday Night Wings (dot com) is more than just soupy chicken wings and large, mostly unpaid for pitchers. It’s a tradition. A tradition worth fighting for. No matter the degree of pissed off girlfriend. No matter the size of impending meteoric doom. No matter the distance that separates you from the tradition you love. Wings will live on. By the founders. By the friends. And by the greasy latino cooks serving up their soupy greatness.

Some traditions are silly. Easter. Christmas. Valentine’s Day. But Wings lives beyond all the other shallow stays of humanity. Because Wings is more than just tradition. It’s all of humanity. It’s that good. More good than all of humanity. Combined.

So let flourish the legacy of Monday Night Wings (dot com) and pump down that Miller Lite. Because goddammit, it’s Monday.

And goddammit. It’s almost Monday Night Wings Football season.

Cheers.

Joey B.
Member Emeritus

It is with great sadness that I announce the retirement of a founding member of monday night wings.  Joseph (Joe) Beutel has relocated, and will no longer be a regular attendee of Monday Night Wings.  We thank him for his contributions and wish him well.

Joe Beutel :   2000-2007.

Ashes to ashes.  Dust to dust.  You are dead to us.


Monday Night Wings – Article V.   Drafted Aug 20, 2007.

The Wings Lottery is idea is a great way to finance a trip to Vegas. We can take the proceeds to buy the 1st class tix, and stay at a 5* hotel. I wanted to book the trip tonight, but DJ Gusty Winds was too busy saying, “Shouldn’t we wait to find some deals?” Long the longer you wait, the higher the price goes. During the plane ride I hope there are no ‘Gusty Winds’ outside. I hate turbulence.

Don’t let babies gamble: (30 sec clip, hilarious)

Wings. Goodbye Tuesday. Enough said.

New Additions Today:

• Found: One Napkin Agreement.  Added the “Buck Hunter Agreement” to the Articles of Wings.

Forty Tickets This Week:

Its official! Lets get the hell out of town and rip it up! I vote we take this plane. Everyone start watching Expedia, Priceline, or your site of choice. And, I stress this once again…no girlfriends! And if you dare do it, you will be banned from our late night antics…

antic – a ludicrous or grotesque act done for fun and amusement 

BAAAANGGG BANG BANG!

Thirty tickets this week… Who’s feeling lucky??

This Weeks Numbers: 

There is no fucking Mable. That’s retarded. However(!!!), I did get at least one helping of chicken since I missed MNW. But it wasn’t a chicken wing. And it wasn’t at Sally’s. It was a goddamn salty peppery fucktard breast of a chicken from some goddamn Italian place that’s known for its goddamn rotisserie fucking chicken. What the fuck is that fucking shit? Are you fucking kidding me? In a related fucking story, the goddamn “best italian” place to plop your plump American (why do you hate our country?) ass is the goddamn Olive Fucking Garden. Fuck. How in Jebus’ fucking name is that humanly fucking possible? But seriously. Seriously. S-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y. It wasn’t all that bad. It just wasn’t 25 cent fucking wings at the goddamn Sally’s Saloon and fucking Eatery. Which fucking sucks. But in related news, today was way totally long and kick ass. I just didn’t get to say fuck nearly enough.

Fuck. 

The Monday Night Wings Powerball Pool has begun..!  Five tickets per person per week.   We came up a little short this week – don’t let it happen again..!

This Weeks Numbers:

11 31 35 48 51 PB 28
02 03 25 45 46 PB 28
18 25 35 42 45 PB 28
22 27 30 38 49 PB 28
15 34 35 52 54 PB 12 * $4 Winner!
22 26 28 49 50 PB 05
04 43 45 48 49 PB 06
11 30 32 34 44 PB 29
23 26 28 37 48 PB 21
03 05 06 16 17 PB 08

All right boys and girls summer wont last forever and soon lake days will be over. That being said its time to hit the road and get out of town. I am sick of having to fly up to party with all of you guys so its time to meet in the middle. The city of lights is calling to have a weekend of complete mayhem run through the town. I know a trip takes time so Mike D and I having been throwing out October maybe for Halloween weekend. I’m talking a full weekend of drinking, partying, gambling and compete mayhem. I have a couple buddies that live in Vegas with great connections to the clubs that have worked out great in the past. This started as a guys trip only but if the ladies want to tag along and can hang then more power to them. I fully expect Hopper to be naked at some point of the trip and yes the pictures will tell all so for the unfortunate few who puss out and don’t come you will be able to catch up on all the fun on mnw.com Lets get some discussion going and pick a weekend so people will commit. Anyone who wants to make it a longer trip can always stop down in AZ for a few days as well the weather will be nice then.

Lots of cloud cover but the lake requires sinuses and brains to eat from those who dare to wakeboard.�

We here at MNW are all about invention. Well, invention and beer. But invention is up there. So when we take to Lake White Bear brandishing three bags of chip-like duck ammo, the hunt is on. Redefining the way humans duck hunt is the our new black. And gold and red and orange and magenta too. It”s all of them. The whole box.

Our crew felt the conventional method of shooting the bloody floaters is totally in bad taste, so we slowly inched toward them in the Riviera Boozer, quacking them to take our deathly bit of duck bait. See, we are all about the hunt. The hunt and beer.

So while we pave the way for future Huntduck Tards (those who adopt the new approach), pleebs who lack the Darwinian skill of talking to their prey can master the call with this simple instructional video. Passing its test might even help you along the path to social relevance in the eyes of MNW. Which is nice. 

Dear Mr. Hopper,

 I would first and foremost like to thank you for the phenomenal Bang-Bang dance moves you taught me Saturday night. I truly have never been “served” such sweet moves in a club before. I realized you became irritated when I could not keep up with the hand movements and I didn’t verbally say, “Bang-Bang” as I tried to follow you in the dance. Please be patient Mr. Hopper because this is a complicated dance and I hope to one day make you proud with my rendition.

So in conclusion I would just like to thank you again for extending the opportunity to learn such an intricate style of expression that I will not soon forget.

Sincerely,

 Rachael

New Additions Today:

• Pictures from July 1st, 4th, and 5th added to the Gallery .

• Found: One Napkin Agreement.  Added the “Gentleman’s Agreement” to the Articles of Wings.

• Fixed issues with the account sign-up script.