It is with great sadness that I announce the retirement of a founding member of monday night wings.  Joseph (Joe) Beutel has relocated, and will no longer be a regular attendee of Monday Night Wings.  We thank him for his contributions and wish him well.

Joe Beutel :   2000-2007.

Ashes to ashes.  Dust to dust.  You are dead to us.


Monday Night Wings – Article V.   Drafted Aug 20, 2007.

The Wings Lottery is idea is a great way to finance a trip to Vegas. We can take the proceeds to buy the 1st class tix, and stay at a 5* hotel. I wanted to book the trip tonight, but DJ Gusty Winds was too busy saying, “Shouldn’t we wait to find some deals?” Long the longer you wait, the higher the price goes. During the plane ride I hope there are no ‘Gusty Winds’ outside. I hate turbulence.

Don’t let babies gamble: (30 sec clip, hilarious)

Wings. Goodbye Tuesday. Enough said.

New Additions Today:

• Found: One Napkin Agreement.  Added the “Buck Hunter Agreement” to the Articles of Wings.

Forty Tickets This Week:

Its official! Lets get the hell out of town and rip it up! I vote we take this plane. Everyone start watching Expedia, Priceline, or your site of choice. And, I stress this once again…no girlfriends! And if you dare do it, you will be banned from our late night antics…

antic – a ludicrous or grotesque act done for fun and amusement 

BAAAANGGG BANG BANG!

Thirty tickets this week… Who’s feeling lucky??

This Weeks Numbers: 

There is no fucking Mable. That’s retarded. However(!!!), I did get at least one helping of chicken since I missed MNW. But it wasn’t a chicken wing. And it wasn’t at Sally’s. It was a goddamn salty peppery fucktard breast of a chicken from some goddamn Italian place that’s known for its goddamn rotisserie fucking chicken. What the fuck is that fucking shit? Are you fucking kidding me? In a related fucking story, the goddamn “best italian” place to plop your plump American (why do you hate our country?) ass is the goddamn Olive Fucking Garden. Fuck. How in Jebus’ fucking name is that humanly fucking possible? But seriously. Seriously. S-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y. It wasn’t all that bad. It just wasn’t 25 cent fucking wings at the goddamn Sally’s Saloon and fucking Eatery. Which fucking sucks. But in related news, today was way totally long and kick ass. I just didn’t get to say fuck nearly enough.

Fuck. 

The Monday Night Wings Powerball Pool has begun..!  Five tickets per person per week.   We came up a little short this week – don’t let it happen again..!

This Weeks Numbers:

11 31 35 48 51 PB 28
02 03 25 45 46 PB 28
18 25 35 42 45 PB 28
22 27 30 38 49 PB 28
15 34 35 52 54 PB 12 * $4 Winner!
22 26 28 49 50 PB 05
04 43 45 48 49 PB 06
11 30 32 34 44 PB 29
23 26 28 37 48 PB 21
03 05 06 16 17 PB 08

Lots of cloud cover but the lake requires sinuses and brains to eat from those who dare to wakeboard.�

We here at MNW are all about invention. Well, invention and beer. But invention is up there. So when we take to Lake White Bear brandishing three bags of chip-like duck ammo, the hunt is on. Redefining the way humans duck hunt is the our new black. And gold and red and orange and magenta too. It”s all of them. The whole box.

Our crew felt the conventional method of shooting the bloody floaters is totally in bad taste, so we slowly inched toward them in the Riviera Boozer, quacking them to take our deathly bit of duck bait. See, we are all about the hunt. The hunt and beer.

So while we pave the way for future Huntduck Tards (those who adopt the new approach), pleebs who lack the Darwinian skill of talking to their prey can master the call with this simple instructional video. Passing its test might even help you along the path to social relevance in the eyes of MNW. Which is nice. 

Dear Mr. Hopper,

 I would first and foremost like to thank you for the phenomenal Bang-Bang dance moves you taught me Saturday night. I truly have never been “served” such sweet moves in a club before. I realized you became irritated when I could not keep up with the hand movements and I didn’t verbally say, “Bang-Bang” as I tried to follow you in the dance. Please be patient Mr. Hopper because this is a complicated dance and I hope to one day make you proud with my rendition.

So in conclusion I would just like to thank you again for extending the opportunity to learn such an intricate style of expression that I will not soon forget.

Sincerely,

 Rachael

New Additions Today:

• Pictures from July 1st, 4th, and 5th added to the Gallery .

• Found: One Napkin Agreement.  Added the “Gentleman’s Agreement” to the Articles of Wings.

• Fixed issues with the account sign-up script. 

For those of us that walked or drank on water last week, this is how our bodies should’ve reacted.

Alright so I thought we were done with getting intoxicated and hauling ass through Sallys, keeping times on our phones stopwatch, but for some reason everyone came out to compete last night! Sallys staff, Fridays staff, MNW’s crew, and some randoms all participated. We pissed off a lot of folk. They were planting stools and napkins on the tile floor to try and sabotage our fun. They were probably upset because they were fat, old, and mildly retarded. Chelsea our server had an impressive run, nearly beating THE PHOENIX on her first pass. My first time was defeated by a Fridays Server that was really moving. I then traded my sandals to Joey Jive for his kicks, improving my time by almost 2 seconds, putting me back in first. I was then schooled by a guy that looked like he was a straight up runner. Had the kicks and everything…he came suited and booted. Kristen was pissed, the cops called, and I hope Chelsea still has a job. Mike, post the times! P.S. – I’m keeping my running shoes in the trunk and refuse to lose again…bitches.