Oh dear….

20 Beers?  What the fuck Ira…

For your viewing pleasure:

Monday Night Football Doubleheader – 20 Beers.

 The “Clause of Smooth”

“Dear MNW”

Sallys Unofficial Footracing results:

Ryan “Rent by the Hour” Hopper

Ryans Mom Has..

Good wings last night everyone. It makes me so happy to see everyone make it.

While you were at home sleeping, studying, blowing yourself, etc. we were having fun. Here is Mike D’s and I view from last night. What was yours?

It’s me. Beutel. STFU already.

First of all, let me just say it was good to be back at the world famous Monday Night Wings. God it was fucking amazing. Like tits on a tit. A tititses. It was that good.

It’s important to note that I was impressed no one skipped out on the greatest culinary/alcoholic achievement of modern times with an excuse of homework, work, girlfriends, shitty girlfriends, lame girlfriends, or anything mostly girlfriend related. Well done shitfarts, well done. You resisted the shit-slinging shit girls seem to toss at the holiest of traditions.

You live.

Secondly, I forgot the name of the fucking new guy engineer dude that was in danger of flunkshitting out of engineering school in the UofM engineering school of engineering, but he is the greatest addition to Monday Night Wings since the advent of flagging the shit out of people that fuck up. This man was the KG of wingers. That said, he wasn’t around for 10cent, Sprite refills and the glory days, but this man got game. With a stomach, liver and an early pride for the spirit of wings, I expect great things from MNW Guy X. Sorry X, I forgot your name. Keep it up, ballfucker, keep it up.

Finally, and on a completely unrelated note, I just flattened the best damn bottle of $1.99 wine on the whole fucking planet. Big Kahuna. If any of you treefuckers ever come out here to San Diego, we will buy a case and break bottles for fun because they are so cheap and good and fun to waste just because we can.

That is all. I’ll leave you with a picture that will make boners and hoo-has explode with equal intensity.

We realized last night that it would be the last time many of us will be living in walking distance to wings. We then realize that we have never walked home from wings, and thought it would be fun. So here is my best recollection (narrated map) of Chris, Regan and my walk home from wings last night. Instead of using roads and side walks like little girls do, we took what we thought was going to be a more direct route home.

1. Started at Sally’s. Enough said.

2. Slam beer at Stub’s. Thanks Regan.

3. Stop at K-Sig. We can see the gay house nextdoor is throwing a party outside, K-Sig? NO! WTF! Last week of summer vacation and we find all the miserable DB’s in their rooms or sleeping. Commadeer one Miller Lite and two Coors Light. Chug. Throw on floor. Leave.

4. First fence hopped. Not too bad. Chris breaks his sandals and wants to walk around. Regan and I say NOT.

5. Military style duck and cover trip across the softball fields. Chris still has broken sandal.

6. Fuck. Another fence. Chris wants to walk around again. NOT. Damage done from hopping this fence. Chris: punctured foot, Jeff: ripped jeans (damn it) Regan: IM BAMF’r!

7. End up at 22nd AVE. Time to head to Sporty’s. On the way I fell flat on my face and got grease all over my shirt. Fuck. Chris’ foot still hurts. Get to Sporty’s. Order beer. Wash off train car grease. See really drunk fat lady, who can not form a full sentance get cut off. She wonders why. Smoke a mentol. Go home.

Great trip home. BANG.

Instant classic, very funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNgWQfOd-1M
-Geiser

For all of you losers (Gus) who decided to stay home and not attend Ed Souters Bachelor party i am sorry to say that you truly missed a good time. From random drunk girls on the strip throwing sunglasses into oncoming traffic to bar tabs larger than most peoples gross monthly income. Massive amounts of alcohol were consumed by all with Ed stepping up and dominating all weekend long. Oh ya hanging out with Paris Hilton on Friday night happened and a all day beer pong session at Oshays. If the wedding is half as much fun as Vegas was August 1st, 2008 is going to be a very good day. Note to all make sure you book your flight for the correct day (MikeD) so after three days of drinking you can lick your wounds and go home.

Fireworks + beer + boats + sun = Best time of year
I would not be caught dead celebrating the anniversary of The Declaration of Independence in England. That’s why I will be back June 28th – July 6th, leaving plenty of time for the Bizzle & the equally important MNW. Until then, load up the One Bad Mothers, kegs, BBQ, massive speakers, flithy music, and beach volley ball set. And don’t let Hopper bring lady friends to Wings.

Smell Yo Dick

“Ha ha ha ha ha.  Ho ho ho ho ho.. ”

 Please don’t eat us.

Although most members of the MNW community already know this, I have moved to Oxford, England. It is a kick-ass town, loaded with history, well preserved architecture, and college girls. Earlier this evening, I went to a pub called, “Turf Tavern”. So what’s the big deal with that? It just so happens that this pub, 4′-6″ ceilings and all, is the site where the first and only President Clinton (let’s keep it that way), quote, “did not inhale.” The pub has dedicated a plaque to set the facts straight surrounding this issue. I encourage all my fellow Americans, and especially the members of the MNW community, to carefully read what some pub owner in England thinks about former President Clinton.