Alright so I thought we were done with getting intoxicated and hauling ass through Sallys, keeping times on our phones stopwatch, but for some reason everyone came out to compete last night! Sallys staff, Fridays staff, MNW’s crew, and some randoms all participated. We pissed off a lot of folk. They were planting stools and napkins on the tile floor to try and sabotage our fun. They were probably upset because they were fat, old, and mildly retarded. Chelsea our server had an impressive run, nearly beating THE PHOENIX on her first pass. My first time was defeated by a Fridays Server that was really moving. I then traded my sandals to Joey Jive for his kicks, improving my time by almost 2 seconds, putting me back in first. I was then schooled by a guy that looked like he was a straight up runner. Had the kicks and everything…he came suited and booted. Kristen was pissed, the cops called, and I hope Chelsea still has a job. Mike, post the times! P.S. – I’m keeping my running shoes in the trunk and refuse to lose again…bitches.